Belly Slaps
24, aspiring grown-up with a knack for writing. This is just my place where I post stuff.
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You guys remember that song by the Hot Boys, or whomever it was in Cash Money who did that Great Googly Moogly song where they were referring to a fine piece of booty being juicy? Well come to find out in the summer of 2223 when the Nepalese were rising up against the Moldovians who had taken over most of southern Asia, for God knows why, a great man led the charge against those dirty Moldovians and their equally dirty Turkmeni allies. That man - The now Great Googly Moogly.
What the Hot Boys didn’t know at the time was that they were writing a whole lot of precursors to future world events. Unbeknownst to them they had written, what would turn out to be, an album foretelling the great radish famine of 3142, the pork chop eradication in 2312, and perhaps the world’s greatest travesty, the appointment of Channing Tatum as the Academy Award winning actor in 2065.
Just goes to show that the rap game hasn’t been the same since Jay Z retired again.
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See the really cool thing about military style jackets is that they have these straps on them that would fool even the most veteran of military personnel. You’re just one step from getting a Purple Heart, and that step is being injured. Hold on, let me get my baseball bat and help you with that.
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He looked at me and said, you have a mustache, now deal with the consequences, even if those consequences mean having to coach a division three school.Craig T Nelson
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They always say may the best man win, but I don’t think so. I mean, the guy isn’t even the one getting married, right? I think the groom is the one who’s winning.
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May the best man swim, cause I ain’t doin that.Slim J. Pickens Esquire(Magazine)
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There was this one time when I got done brushing my hair, and I took the ball of hair out of the brush, looked around, and ate it. Times was hard.Spaghetti Roosevelt
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So we had this cat named Gerald. He was like a four legged cat or something, and his fur, oh let me tell you, it was nice. It was like in a past life he skinned a mink and then blended that with Egyptian silk, dipped it in lotion, and then put it on really tight so it still looked like his skin. Crazy what cat technology can do these days.Richard Fitswell III
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2134 was a pretty crazy year. We had the first Mexican president, who was voted in by the robot contigent. They felt like they had everything to gain due to the pro robot legislation, or probot legislation if you will. See robots were scary, hell, still are. They can pinch super hard, and they absolutely love Mexican food, but not Tex Mex. So the president, right. Well the robots were really digging these new robot tax breaks, which in essence made them eligible to keep all of their dollars, but they couldn’t use it on a count of them being robots and all. See robots don’t look past the initial impacts, and they’re all like “This is awesome! No more taxes,” but their stupid little robot minds can’t comprehend that they aren’t allowed to use money.
What would a robot buy anyway? They already have everything.
